(NOTE: All "gifts" referred to in this blogpost refer to practical gifts, such as appliances, clothes, etc. Gifts that are tokens of friendship, trust, affection, and such fall under a different category entirely.)
So very recently, I had a back and forth with this friend of mine about the morality of returning a gift to a store. Their argument was that, "Returning a gift is greedy. That person spent time, thought, and money to get that gift for you! To turn around and trade it for some gift card or store credit is wrong. Maybe trading in an article of clothing that doesn't fit right for a proper size, but otherwise, it's just wrong!"
This argument, of course, is understandable. This person is trying to take the feelings of the gift giver into consideration while chastising the behavior of the gifted for being dismissive and greedy.
They also said, "If you really have no use for the gift, give it to charity! Give it to someone less fortunate than yourself!" This is, again, an understandable approach. If we don't need it, give it to someone who does. It's definitely a moral high ground and by all means, it's a course of action I support.
To myself, however, this is merely an option. Perhaps the most morally applicable, but by no means the only means of which one should handle their unwanted gifts. Being morally upstanding at all times is admirable, but grey areas develop in situations such as these.
Often, people forget the meaning of a gift. Gifts are given with the sole purpose of improving the lives of those we give to. To me, suggesting otherwise is selfish. Why would we give a gift to someone, only to feel offended when the gift we gave does not suit their needs? What purpose, then, does our gift serve? Should we demand they keep it as a sign of appreciation? Is the only reason we gift people in the first place just to indept them?
To me, I'd rather that person return any gift at all that I purchase for them of which they have no use. Hell, even if they HAD a use for it, if returning it will get them something that they would enjoy MORE? Then I definitely approve. All I want is for that person's life to be improved by my gift, even if it's so indirectly.
Of course, all this could be avoided if everyone had an Amazon wishlist! :D
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
PDA and BBQ
My sexuality isn't something I make a big deal out of publicly. Sure, I'll post about something pro-Gay rights or make mention of it here or there. But for the most part, I try to just live my life as any other person.
Tonight, though, an issue came to a head which I had to raise with my boyfriend. See, there's this little BBQ place near here called Dan's BBQ. It's a fantastic little place with good BBQ and a DELICIOUS sauce that's always fast and friendly.
It's also very, very conservative.
I'm talking, pro-gun signs, pro-God signs, an absolute atmosphere of conservative (and traditional right-wing) expression. It's also the best BBQ place in town, so Chris and I have been eating from there for the last two years. We enjoy the food, the service, and the atmosphere is even a little charming in ways.
However, a single caveat was always present: We did not act like a couple in the restaurant. We dressed conservatively, we didn't have any physical contact, we wouldn't even call each "hon" or "sweety" or any of our stock pet-names. On an occasion I had, he quickly reminded me that I should be wary, as so not to offend the clientele or the actual staff.
Now, this staff had been known to speak their minds. Telling parents to quiet their children, asking people to leave for inappropriate behavior. We knew it was in our best interest, if we wished to continue our patronage of this establishment, to refrain from projecting any semblance of affection.
Over time, though, something grabbed me on the inside. It tugged at a nerve in my brain, but like a passing itch, I would either just idly touch on it or let it go. However, over the course of the last few months... it came to my attention that it in fact was not a passing itch. It was an issue to be thought out and discussed.
I realized that there was a succinct moral issue that I couldn't any longer abide, and that was acting like something I'm not for the sake of someone else' approval. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't make our with Chris in public. Sometimes we'll hold hands, but usually, it's just a common shoulder bump, maybe a quick peck. But we would always refer to ourselves with the aforementioned pet names, like most couples. We're not showy, but we ARE a couple, and after a while it all sank in that it was not worth acting like we weren't for decent Louisianan BBQ.
Chris, on the other hand, feels that it's not so much of an issue for him. He also thinks that, instead of patronizing the restaurant further but allowing ourselves to act naturally (thus risking the ire and subsequential retaliation from the establishment), we should just stop eating there. This is understandable and, while I don't necessarily agree, I don't hold it against him nor do I think a modicum less of him for it. I would rather we try and be proven right or wrong, one way or the other. I don't necessarily want to TEST it, but I do want to at least give it a chance.
It should also be noted that, while we do live in Lake Charles, Louisiana, this is honest-to-God the only establishment we've gone to where this has been a concern. Every other restaurant or store, it's not an issue. Just this one, considering it's atmosphere.
I mostly make this post because... I am legitimately curious what people will think. It's a curious situation that I'm not sure how to handle 100%.
Tonight, though, an issue came to a head which I had to raise with my boyfriend. See, there's this little BBQ place near here called Dan's BBQ. It's a fantastic little place with good BBQ and a DELICIOUS sauce that's always fast and friendly.
It's also very, very conservative.
I'm talking, pro-gun signs, pro-God signs, an absolute atmosphere of conservative (and traditional right-wing) expression. It's also the best BBQ place in town, so Chris and I have been eating from there for the last two years. We enjoy the food, the service, and the atmosphere is even a little charming in ways.
However, a single caveat was always present: We did not act like a couple in the restaurant. We dressed conservatively, we didn't have any physical contact, we wouldn't even call each "hon" or "sweety" or any of our stock pet-names. On an occasion I had, he quickly reminded me that I should be wary, as so not to offend the clientele or the actual staff.
Now, this staff had been known to speak their minds. Telling parents to quiet their children, asking people to leave for inappropriate behavior. We knew it was in our best interest, if we wished to continue our patronage of this establishment, to refrain from projecting any semblance of affection.
Over time, though, something grabbed me on the inside. It tugged at a nerve in my brain, but like a passing itch, I would either just idly touch on it or let it go. However, over the course of the last few months... it came to my attention that it in fact was not a passing itch. It was an issue to be thought out and discussed.
I realized that there was a succinct moral issue that I couldn't any longer abide, and that was acting like something I'm not for the sake of someone else' approval. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't make our with Chris in public. Sometimes we'll hold hands, but usually, it's just a common shoulder bump, maybe a quick peck. But we would always refer to ourselves with the aforementioned pet names, like most couples. We're not showy, but we ARE a couple, and after a while it all sank in that it was not worth acting like we weren't for decent Louisianan BBQ.
Chris, on the other hand, feels that it's not so much of an issue for him. He also thinks that, instead of patronizing the restaurant further but allowing ourselves to act naturally (thus risking the ire and subsequential retaliation from the establishment), we should just stop eating there. This is understandable and, while I don't necessarily agree, I don't hold it against him nor do I think a modicum less of him for it. I would rather we try and be proven right or wrong, one way or the other. I don't necessarily want to TEST it, but I do want to at least give it a chance.
It should also be noted that, while we do live in Lake Charles, Louisiana, this is honest-to-God the only establishment we've gone to where this has been a concern. Every other restaurant or store, it's not an issue. Just this one, considering it's atmosphere.
I mostly make this post because... I am legitimately curious what people will think. It's a curious situation that I'm not sure how to handle 100%.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Take off your pants and jacket.
Well, since I'm on the road and bored, here's another bout of opinion.
I am not offended by nudity. Not even a little. I grew up around people who raised me to know and understand the human body at an early age, so for me? Breasts, penises, vaginas, and all those other parts that you just giggled at me listing off are just parts of the human body, no different to me than noses, mouths, fingers, etc. To me, showing one's ass is no different than showing one's head (For some people, this is even more apropo.)
As such, I feel that laws we have for the sake of decency are, by and large, asinine. Public Breastfeeding is STILL a hot topic. Why? Because a woman is exposing a NIPPLE? That is unadulterated bullshit. The only reason there's even an issueis because of conservative values and our OBSESSION with sex. If we treated these body parts as just that, parts of the body, and less as perverted symbols of sex that turn us into powerless dogs driven by our hormones, it wouldn't be such an issue.
Some people don't like the idea of devaluing the mystique and eroticism of our bathing suit areas, though. They appreciate the feeling that taboo gives them, the sexual excitement from a tiny bikini or a speedo just barely covering those 'special parts'. To that I say, can you really not separate your sexuality from your daily life? That sounds like a personal problem to me.
But who am I to urge public nudity? I feel uncomfortable without my SHIRT on.
I am not offended by nudity. Not even a little. I grew up around people who raised me to know and understand the human body at an early age, so for me? Breasts, penises, vaginas, and all those other parts that you just giggled at me listing off are just parts of the human body, no different to me than noses, mouths, fingers, etc. To me, showing one's ass is no different than showing one's head (For some people, this is even more apropo.)
As such, I feel that laws we have for the sake of decency are, by and large, asinine. Public Breastfeeding is STILL a hot topic. Why? Because a woman is exposing a NIPPLE? That is unadulterated bullshit. The only reason there's even an issueis because of conservative values and our OBSESSION with sex. If we treated these body parts as just that, parts of the body, and less as perverted symbols of sex that turn us into powerless dogs driven by our hormones, it wouldn't be such an issue.
Some people don't like the idea of devaluing the mystique and eroticism of our bathing suit areas, though. They appreciate the feeling that taboo gives them, the sexual excitement from a tiny bikini or a speedo just barely covering those 'special parts'. To that I say, can you really not separate your sexuality from your daily life? That sounds like a personal problem to me.
But who am I to urge public nudity? I feel uncomfortable without my SHIRT on.
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